SOOOO...I went on another date! I'm sure you're dying to know the outcome huh!? First of all one of my huge pet peeves is punctuality! If you are not untime...its a problem. Strike 1-he arrives 20 mins late with some bogus ass excuse about traffic. What the fuck ever...he better be glad he was lookin so damn good or who knows I mighta went home. We end up grabbin some dinner which started off fine, except the fact that he talks too damn much. I'm tryna enjoy my damn chicken & I gotta listen to "motor mouth matthew" blabbin about some shit I could care less about. Im sitting there nodding & smiling through till finally I cant take it no more. I ask him what the fuck he is talkin so much for cause his food is getting cold. He laughs it off as if I was joking. NO NIGGA...im deadass serious. Shut the fuck up & eat yo damn burger before I slap you with that bacon. He tries to shut up...you can see it. His tongue was havin a tug-a-war with his mouth. His tongue wins...he's back to flappin his gums about bullshit when he spits on me. STRIKE 2- spitting when you talk...muthafucker are you serious? You aint even say no S, or C word...so why the fuck I have chewed up hamburger bun on my cheek? YUCK. (broilin inside) "cmon now yo mouth just did a drive by on me" I told him. pbbbbbbbbbttttttttt...DUCK. GET DOWN GET DOWN...HE SHOOTIN. He apologizes, just like a little bitch! "aww my bad boo...*wipes my face with a napkin* you know I aint mean it" We finish dinner, & its time to pay, next thing I know he pulls out a black du-rag. Im like ookay...thats yo wallet huh. Getto as hell. This nigga unwraps the du-rag & I realize theirs a stack of 100$ bills in there. when I say stack...I mean a fuckin stack. He had atleast 2,000$ in his hand. Im like what the fuck he do rob a bank? sheesh He pulls out a 100$, and then proceeds to pull out some loose change. Im thinkin to myself "is he really givin this woman exact change and shit...like he broke or somethin" Now all kinds of thoughts are going through my head. Why does he have so much money with him? For somebody that works in a factory you sure got a lot of "big bills" Yeah I know what kinda factory you work in, & it sure aint a meat packin factory, you be packin but it definitely aint "MEAT" He wraps the du-rag back around the fold of money and stuffs it back into his pocket as if nothing ever happened. Now were supposed to leave and get drinks and this is when shit really gets interesting!!!
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Part 2: The Bar (with a little liquor...he might try to stick her)
Because I lost my ID a while back we were limited to the number of places we could go to get drinks. Luckily he knows of a little spot his homeboy runs so we get there and instantly get a round of shots goin. I'm busy eyeballin the bartender realizing he is pretty cute. My "date" goes to the bar & orders us both an AMF (adios muthafucker) & Im already knowin were both about to be wasted. No if &'s or buts about it. As soon as that 3rd cold drink hit my system, it was a wrap!! Let the shit talkin begin. I go to the pool tables to play pool & lowkey flirt with this little asian chic. Since I am intoxicated now, I really am not paying too much attention to my date at all. He comes over and asked to get in on the next round of pool. Next thing I know I turn around and this sorry son of a bitch has some chic cornered! He all in her face, and this drunk bitch over there crackin up like this nigga a comedian or something. Which he aint, so trying not to be too obvious I continue to peep him from the corner of my eyes as I play pool. DAMN! did he just touch her hair? And this dumb whorebag slut just giggling & carryin on like he really over there doin stand-up comdey or something. ughhhhhh.....FUCK THIS. I actually was pissed 1st of all this dude is fine as fuck. 2nd of all he fine as fuck. & oh yea 3rd of all this nigga is PAAAAAID. So I walk on over, cause by this time I lack all ability to be rational. I step right in his face and ask him..."ughh hey you dumb fuck you do know i'm standin right there dontcha?" He's tryna explain himself, & all that when the bitch trys to throw in her little raggedy 15cents. I look over at her and tell her "Bitch sit your drunk ass down somewhere before you be layin in the back alley somewhere" Tuuuh...this bitch musta been sippin on some "Superwoman" energy drink cause she all the sudden thought she was Bad. Why would you challenge me when I'm drunk?? "Look little ho...shut the fuck up & go find another dick to ride wit ya dirty ass" I told her. So tell me why this bitch ass nigga do a 360 on me...he literally flipped the script on me & called himself stickin up for this little raggedy heffa. OOOOOOH GOD. Here we fuckin GOOOO. How bout this fucker told me to chill out & had the nerve....the fuckin BALLS to push me to the side. Talkin bout im "being a bitch for no reason" OH HELL naw...a what? hmmm...Next thing I knew I was slappin this fool in the face. I dont know if the slapped shocked him or what, but he snapped back into reality & instantly looked embarassed. Oh by this time im cussin, & fussin tellin him to give me my shit out his car & all that. This dumb muthafucka gone tell me he aint givin me nothing. Ok thats fine...dont give it to me. Ima get my shit one way or the other. Im stompin outside headin to the car, a Heineken bottle in my hand, & throw the shit right at his windshield. He's behind me seconds later grabbing me. "Get the fuck off me & give me my shit you Bitch." Of course he's cussin the whole time, calling me crazy & all of that. But I dont care, I want my shit. Im wasted, Im pissed & I want to go home. He opens the trunk and I snatch my shit out & try to spit on him. Cause he is still talkin shit. "thats your problem you little faggot ass bitch you talk to fuckin much" My spit aim sucks...But fuck it. I ended up calling a cab home, this dumb fuck stands outside the whole time safeguardin his car. But I memorized the license plate. & if I ever see that little stuffer ass honda again...ima flatten the fuck out his tires. So yet again as you can see FAILED date. Im starting to think there is nobody out there for me... =(
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