5 Things That Piss Me Off (part 1)

1) I hate when I'm in the grocery store & I'm in a hurry & they only got one fuckin checker & the bitch be going mad slow next thing you know her register broke or something. smh. I'm Standing there like "BITCH are you shitting me!? I got somewhere to be in 10mins and yo ass wanna go and break the register." Where the fuck is all the other cashiers? This broad aint got no co-workers? The fuck?!! its a line all the way to the back of the frozen food aisle cause it's one got damn cashier & this incompetent ass bitch wanna fuck up the register. Thats when I walk the fuck out with my groceries like Bitch i'll be back to pay for this shit later my kids hungry as fuck. Shit what she gone do call security? PLEASE! I shop in that store every damn day, she know I'ma pay her later.

2) I hate when I be at the Doc's office or somewhere and It's a kid sitting in front of me who keep turning around to eyeball me. & The mama dont never slap the kid or nothing to say "stop fucking staring at that black bitch" whats worse the kid wanna stick out they tongue or something rude & you gotta clench your fist up tight to keep from punching the kid in his face. Like really though pay attention to what the fuck yo child is doing. There aint no excuse for lil "rachel" to be sitting there making evil faces at me then run her finger across her neck like "you're dead" OH REALLY!? Wait till yo mama not looking you little brat I'ma slap the shit out of you with a Dr. Seuss book. =( STOP FUCKING STARING AT ME!!!

3) I hate how the nigga from the "Everest" commercial think he know exactly what the fuck we doing. "you spend all day on the phone anyway...why not make the call" well first of all nigga how you know what the fuck I be doinh? I dont even got a phone. Here his black ass is all on t.v. tryna be a career advisor & shit & how much you wanna bet his ass aint even go to that damn school. They probablly paid the nigga 50$, an pound of kush & a bottle of "Hen" to do that damn commercial. Tryna look all successful and shit. I know that nigga aint go to no damn college, he one of the dope boys standing on somebody block with a lil 45' underneath his "Everest" T-shirt. I'm just telling you what I know man.

4) I hate how everybody and they mama wanna ask you for a ride just cause you got a car! But let that muthufuka break down & guess what...dont nobody know yo ass anymore. Niggas be asking to kick it with you just cause they know you got a car. Oh yeah they yo best fucking friend. But Soon as that bitch break down...where they at? I'ma start charging 50$ per ride, I dont give a damn if you just tryna go 2 blocks. It's 10$ for gas & 40$ for life insurance. Cause I'm taking a big risk just chaperoning your ass all around town, something could happen to me on the way & I need my dividends. So if you aint tryna pay up...guess you better put ya roller skates on buddy.

5)I hate when a dude tryna talk to you and he say "I'm just tryna be yo friend shawty" Or when you say "I got a man" & he say "well yo man dont allow you to have friends" FRIENDS?!! Nigga shut the fuck up! Do you usually look your friends up and down while licking your lips? you been staring at my ass for the last 5mins & you talking about some friends! Yeah friends with benefits. You aint slick. I mean thats the funny thing about you dudes...tryna be slick...but yo game is so so DEAD. I cant do nothing but laugh. Oh boy dont let you turn his ass down cause now he going off talking bout "how you wasnt even that cute anyway" NIGGA PLEASE. I AM THAT CUTE...thats why you so mad. ol'' thirsty ass. STOP IT.

Man I would go on & on...But I got shit to do...Dont worry it's plenty more where this came from just not today.

I Speak Out About Domestic Violence

4 LOKOS aka Liquid Crack

First of all Ima sue the fuck outta 4Lokos they never told nobody the after effects.of this shit. I wake up from a coma & shit. My eyelids glued shut from my smeared mascara, clothes all wrinkled, I mean I looked like somebody just ran me over with a tractor, then stuck me in a dryer for 35 min on high heat. The thing that pisses me off the most is EVERYTIME I drink this liquid cocaine I say the next morning "Maaaan I'm never drinking 4 Lokos AGAIN. Then for some reason I turn right back around & drink it again. And the sad thing is...its always one can and I'm wasted. Cmon SON really? I cant for the life of me understand how one human being can drink 15 shots of patron & be a little drunk, but one can of 4 Lokos & straight GONE. And the things...oh lordy...the THINGS IT MAKES YOU DO! I'm convinced they are spiking these cans with doses of ecstacy or something. I'm not playin. If you could just know how ignorant I get when I got this mess in my system. I'm ready to fight, fuck, & cuddle all at the same time. SMH. Who does that?!!! I'm not gone lie lastnight I made out with somebodies girlfriend, the night before somebody gave me a hicky, the night before that....WELL...*ahem* we wont talk about THAT NIGHT! I mean come on now its the past no need bringin up old shit right?! HA. All I can say is SLUTVILLE.com smh One big hot mess is what it is. And tell me why I wake up this morning...its two girls laying next to me on a twin mattress...ok it could be a little mini queen size bed but the point is the damn thing seemed extra small waking up with somebodys foot jammed in your ribs & the other girl crushed up against the wall. sheesh. So I notice my foot feels damp...come to find out, the girl next to me done pissed all in the bed!! SMH REALLY!? WTF. how old are you Bitch? Why is there a wet spot the size of china at the bottom of the bed. What kills me the most is the broad woke her pissy ass up & aint even try to take a shower! hmph. I aint gone blame that on the 4 Lokos i'm gone just assume the bitch got a very weak bladder. If thats the case I would totally appreciate a memo or something! Like seriously, let me know you pee in the bed so I can make other sleeping arrangements. I mean, I started to buy the little pissy girl a bag of depends, like "Here next time you get drunk throw one of these on!" smh. The moral to this story? First of all STAY AWAY FROM THAT LIQUID CRACK! It's poison. Toxic. Addictive. Whoever invented the shit should be shot! Even so my dumb ass cant stop drinking it. Especially the cranberry lemonade. BOMB. Second of all make sure you know who you falling asleep next to...YOU COULD BE THE NEXT ONE WAKING UP IN A WET SPOT!!!!

The Girl Formerly Known As 'The Blonde Vixxxen'

As many of you may have noticed...I disappeared off the face of the earth for a while. I took my backpack, & flashlight & some gum for my bad morning breath & just left. A hiatus from the entire social world!  Did a little reflecting, made a few changes in attempts to better myself. Not saying that I succeeded. Actually I highly doubt that I did, but just play along with me and pretend to be supportive of the new me, OK? Thanks. So you may have also noticed I deleted my twitter @TheBlondVixxxen does not exist anymore!!!      =,(  I know, I know...how devastating! No more roasting, & bullying people on the internet! SIIIIIIIKE. That my Loves is why I am here, returning with my blog so that I can hurt peoples feelings in the privacy of my own world. =) No one to block me or report me to the twitter police. HA! Every week I'll find a new deserving victim to pick on...just cause I can! Dont worry...I'll still be posting my "disaster dates" & other rants and raves. And by the way I am still on twitter, however I only use the page for promotional/networking purposes. @RHCs_QueenB. Like before I'll try to have a post atleast twice a week...So fasten your seatbelts...We're back in the fast lane again!!!

Ladies Night Out

So lastnight was my first time going to a club in a while, and I must say I definitely had a memorable night! From the drunk white girls booty poppin and grinding on me to the "straight" guy who dry humped me till he had a seizure in desperate efforts to prove he is not gay! LMAO. The thing is, there is nothing you can do to convince me you are not gay when your hair is practically super glued to the side of your face with gel, your skinny jeans so snug I can see the imprint of your balls, and your hand looks permanently broke. GAY GAY GAY! Despite my efforts to convince him that his "undercover" sexuality was something that I was comfortable with he failed to come to terms with his love for "meat" and insisted the whole night how straight he was, and how much he loved pussy. Anyway, he was indeed the highlight of my night. The majority of my night consisted of me downing whatever alcoholic beverages had the quickest effect on me. I danced with random white girls, bending em' over on the dance floor, while I groped them. I took down numbers, and flirted with the bartender. By the end of the night I was definitely the life of the party, successfully winning over damn near everyone in the club with my charisma and wacky personality. We exited the first club a couple hours before closing to make our appearance at a majorly stale strip club where the females were a little too washed up for my liking. But I still got the spot poppin, threw a few dollars at the most decent looking stripper in the spot and engaging in a little meaningless fondling with my right hand girl. All eyes were definitely on us lastnight! From head to toe we looked amazingly perfect. And I definitely look forward to doing it all again soon. Besides whats a party without "The Blonde Vixxxen" right?

I'm In Love With A Stripper...

I know for a fact I cant be the only one that is completly fascinated by strippers. Could it be the way they work the pole with such ease? Or maybe its the confidence and sex appeal when performing on stage...so alluring & irresistable! To hell if I have the answer...but damn I love me some strippers. I have been told on plenty occassions I'm like a guy in a girls body. I LOVE goin to the strip club and throwin dollars at these females. Gettin private dances, and even coppin a few numbers before I leave. Its mentally arousing to be in the presence of another female, who is confident in her beauty, dressed half naked in front of me trying to catch everyone's eye. Well atleast the ones with the fat wallets. In fact I was so intrigued by stripping so much I myself was a stripper for a couple of months. It was hard! I had to look the part, dress the part, and act the part. Although some of the things other girls worry about didnt bother me such as "What if my so and so comes in here and sees me" naaah. If someone I knew walked into the club as I was on stage I would wave and go about my damn business. I aint there to socialize, or any of that shit. I'm there to get caked up...aint no way in hell I would let somebody else fuck with my money. I could give two fucks how anyone felt about me, or what they would have to say if this did come out. Dont talk shit talk benjamins, and if you cant talk benjamins then shut the fuck up. Anyway...stripper life was interesting! I gained a lot of friends that I normally wouldnt have spoke to. Some of them bitches was BBBBBBUSTED!!! But we all treated each other like sisters, or some life long friends. At times I felt like I was back in high school with all the drama & shit talkin. But overall it was one of the best experiences ever. I feel like since then I have grown a new respect for strippers, I know what its like to walk around in 6inch heels tryna look cute and keep a smile on your face even though your shoes is too small, your back hurt and your weave is fallin apart. LOL I dont know why but I cant for the life of me stay out the damn clubs. Im addicted to bitches....im addicted to mackin. ha...dont believe just check my resume baby. lol..Bottom line...strippers are every man's fantasy! I despise the ones who dont realy understand that this is a job not a lifestyle. I see a lot of girls get blasted because they are strippers, these jesus freaks all over judging, and condemning them. Not knowing they are just as hard workin, loyal, honest etc. Strippers are normal human beings, majority of them are fine as shit! And see thats my problem...I fear I CANT STAY AWAY FROM THE Showgirls...honestly If there is some type of "Strippers Anonymous" class I would very much so liked to be signed up for that shit! Cause a bitch can go broke in these damn clubs. But answer me this... IS THERE A SUCH THING AS ADDICTION? & WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON THE STRIPPERS good bad or ugly????

WTF is wrong with you people???!

Twitter Couples How the fuck are you a couple & yall just started following each other 2 months ago on twitter. Talmbout…”baby after I seen u retweet dat last tweet of mines I fell in love” BITCH what! I will slit yo gotdamn throat talkin crazy like that. How da fuck u fall in love with somebody over twitter…aint never spoke 2 em on the phone, aint never kissed em, hugged em, fucked em….hell u aint even never skyped wit they ass before but somehow u know…U IN LOVE!?? FUCK OUTTA HERE…you sound like an ultimate supreme cornball w/ extra cheese. Who the hell falls in luv with some tweets? Lol cmon now…im not talkin shit im telling the damn truth! Furthermore…umm yea u tryna buck up on ya followers like “Ay don’t be tweetin dat nigga! U know he be lookin at yo tits.” LMFAO WHAT! Well tell that bitch to take her naked twitcon down & wont nobody look at her dried up nipples. Or the bitches will tweet shit like this…. “ALL U GROUPIE HOZ better stay off my man! @1RealSexyNigga cause he is all mines!” BITCH HUH!?? How he all yours but u don’t even know what this nigga look like in real life. So you mean to tell me you gone just fall in love with sumbody twitcon and that’s it! IDGAF what nobody say, aint no damn body fallin in REAL luv on twitter and anybody that objects to this is obviously on crack. Period pointblank.



LOLz & other suspect words. Such as no-homo should not be slippin out NO grown man’s mouth. IDGAF if Obama said it…no man has no business sayin no damn “LOLz” in a text message. WTF nigga SUSPECT I know a nigga that swear he got swag thru the roof…he claim he get all da bitches yet this nigga walk around talmbout “Forealz” FOR-REALS?!!! NIGGA did u just say FOR-REALS?! I will slap u in the head with a dictionary & crush yo brain like a walnut. If u tryna convince me you straight but u got the vocabulary of a 12 year old girl. SMH…you better quit lyin to yo self, like you don’t get yo butt hole poked by miscellaneous objects on special occassions & all major holidays. I SEE U….you aint slick fag



Follow me & I follow u. 1st of all I wouldn’t even want yo ass to follow me in REAL LIFE let along on twitter…so HOW BOUT I DON’T FOLLOW U! ima block yo ass & report u as spam. You should know by now idgaf bout no got damn twitter. No follows, no nothing dat got 2 do w/ dat handicap blue bird throwin up gang signs. Cus honestly if u look close da twitter bird look like he just got high as fuck when he appear. Speakin of da twitter bird…I’d like 2 give a special Shout Out & FUCK U 2 all the niggas on twitter who still aint saved up enough allowance to buy a disposable camera at the least & take a few snapshots 2 use as an icon on yo profile. Like nigga u wonder why u aint got no followers…cus niggas don’t wanna tweet a blue ass bird…WTF do u look like nigga!? Was u so ugly twitter rejected yo picture and stuck dat got damn bird up there instead? LOL but 4real man…I aint following a got damn muthufukn thang…less jesus floated down on a cloud & was like “yo bitch follow dat nigga & ima let u hit da weed” but we all know dat aint gone happen so I guess I aint following back.



Speakin of jesus…Man I bet they got the best kush in heaven. Cmon now if jesus can turn water into wine he can turn weed into sum shit dat will have yo ass so blasted u gone get saved just so u can smoke the weed w/ jesus. Lol MAN DON’T LIE! If he can get yo ass drunk off H2O he can get u high off dust. Hell he can take an old nike Shox shoe carve the sole off & light that mufuka have u high as fuck talmbout “Just DO It” lmao…shit…wtf am I talmbout im high as fuck. Im outta here.