You Damn Cheater!!!

Now I know what you're probablly thinking... "Oh Boy! Here she go..." Nope I am not about to start cryin nshit because I was cheated on. Ha...I'm actually gonna tell you how to prevent being cheated on. This one is really for all my chics, but fellas I got a few words for yall as well.

Once Upon a time there was this bad bad chic, everywhere she went dudes & females would hit on her. One day she meets this dude who sweeps her off her feet & they get married....and lived happily ever after??!! NOPE...see this chic thought she was so fine she could make her man stay loyal to her just off looks alone. Nope. Everyday her man came home from work, the house was a mess, dishes piled in the sink, no dinner on the table. He complained begged, & pleaded with her to stat being a better housewife & she would reply "baby I am a excellent housewife, you come home to the best pussy everynight my love" This angered him very much because he didnt care about no pussy if his stomach was hungry & the sheets aint been changed in 3 weeks. SO He starts foolin around with a co-worker & starts growin feelings for her. He would come to her house for a little rendezvous & she would have a hot meal waitin for him lit by candlelight. The house was spotless, & she even cleaned the dishes after dinner. Of course he couldnt help but fall in love with this girl despite the fact that she was not as pretty as his wife. Damn she was better. She sucked his dick without complaints & treated him like a king. Finally he couldnt take it anymore...he came home to his wife and said "Look BITCH im sick of this shit! yoou dont clean, you dont cook, bitch all you do is spend my money & get yo weave done every week. I want a fuckin divorce. He divorced that bitch, married his co-worker & then LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Now the moral to the story is...
dont think just cause you pretty your nigga aint gonna cheat on you. Cause thats exactly what he will do! Three things you can do to keep your man satisfied & never even breathe in another bitches direction.
#1 HEAD...im talkin head in the livingroom, head in the kitchen, head during breakfast, head in the shower. Sloppy head, crazy head, pornstar head. You gone be so busy suckin his dick all the time he wont have time to think about another girl.
#2 Feed Him...how would you like it if everytime you came home from a 12hr shift the house smelled like old gym socks & spoiled milk? & your man been home all day with his feet kicked up watching football or some shit! You better make sure that house looks immaculate as soon as he steps in the door he better be overcome with the snell of chicken & mashed potatoes. No man wants an empty stomach & if you aint cookin best believe the bitch next door is.
#3 pornstar fuck him...yea. thats what i said! PORNSTAR FUCK HIM...next time youre at the video store grab a handful of pornos. All the shit that makes you say "eeeew thats nasty" or "damn that bitch is a freak...i would never do that" DO IT!! The freakier the better. Men get bored easily...especially in the missionary position on a fluffy bed. SHit sounds boring as hell just thinkin about it. Anyway my point is niggas like that nasty crazy off the wall fuckin...they want a freak! so give em a freak! hE WONT LOOK AT YOU ANY DIFFERENT I SWEAR....the more you change it up on him the more he gone be so sprung he aint gone even think about another broad!

Take note of what i'm sayin...by all means if you are a victim of cheatin....there aint shit else you can do about it now. Well of course you could go and slash his tires, burn his shit, and throw acid on his penis. But will that resolve how you feel inside. I bet it wont. See the way I see it is if you cant beat em' join em'. If your man cant leave the freaks alone...become one of the freaks. Give him a reason to wanna come home and ROCK yo shit every night. lol And stop sittin there behind your computer screen talkin bout "she dont know what the hell she talkin about!" hmpph dont be so sure, I may be bonin your man as we speak. LOL

& To the hard head ass dudes out there who just has to have everything his damn way! I definitely dont want to hear your ass crying nshit talkin cause your girl done went and fucked your friend. Well, your friend probablly put it down on her unlike anything you have ever shown her. And if thats the case you know what you have to do...? EAT IT THEN BEAT IT! ha...if you catch my drift. I remember it was a time when niggas wasnt even on that eatin pussy...but now its like a damn trend. Everybody is doin it, even a lot of bitches. lol As long as you give her a little tongue action before you start the tappin you good to go. You gone keep a smile on her face for the next week, and I can guarantee the last thing on her mind will be some other nigga. You gone have her fiendin for it at work, and all that. HA. Bottom line is if you put in a little work and effort you gone keep your partner happy & what reason then would they have to even watch another porno without considering you first? Please do try this at home & let me know how it works out. lol.