Have you ever had one of those weeks where you just want the shit to be over already because every damn thing that could go wrong, DOES go wrong? Yea well this week was ridiculous. SMH I mean damn, talk about some bad luck. I'm not even gonna sit here and give you a run-down of my week cause that will probablly set me off all over again. But what I will do is tell you how my weekend made up for all the bullshit.
FRIDAY Night:
Me and Michael go and see the new Nightmare on elm street & he is loud as shit in the movies. Actin like the average loud as black man talkin bout "BITCH TURN AROUND...HE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!" smh this nigga is a clown he almost made me cuss his ass out for being so damn loud. And had all the white people ssssh'n us in the movie theater. I'm like Micahel could you shut the fuck up so we can watch the movie. By the middle of the movie I fell asleep in his arms because to be honest that shit was TRASH! I'm like first of that dont even look like the old Freddy! Where the fuck is the old freddy at and why dude look like a burnt chia pet. Anyway I woke up toward the end of the movie as Freddy was gauging some bitches guts out and I screamed my ass off. Sometimes I would scream just to piss off the sadity white people who kept goin "SSSSSSHHHHH" Well we leave the movies and get dinner at this little mexican spot and some dude with a big ass sombrero tried to hit on me so Michael gets all hostile and shit. ughhh...men will be men. We end up driving downtown and sitting in the car smoking a nice joint to the face! & it was some good shit to cause I was so high I thought the car was driving itself. We grab a 6 pack of Corona, get back home & suck down 3 bottles a piece within 20 minutes and pass out on the couch. And that was basically my Friday night. Saturday is even better. lol
SATURDAY Night:
Now a lot of Saturday is kinda coming together in flashes. Seeing hows I was so drunk I pissed vodka this morning. Anyways. So yea Me and Michael meet up at the park and sit there like a corny ass couple holding hands on a park bench. (his idea not mine) Personally I woulda preferred to be indoors gettin my brains fucked out but hey thats just me right. lol We get into a big argument (over a dude) Then he tells me "im not a jealous dude, if you wanna fuck someone else go ahead just use protection" Now WHATS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!? Like cmon now, you really giving me permission to fuck someone else. *gucci voice* Well DAMN you aint gotta tell me twice. LMAO hey hey I'm only kidding. sorta. See here's the thing I'm going to Miami in about a week and umm....YEA! The person I really wanna be screwing lives there. *big grin* See I been thinking about him every single day! LIKE EVERY DAMN DAY! & when i'm kickin it with michael I'm thinkin damn I wonder what "He" is doing lol thats so bad I know. With one nigga, but really thinking about someone else. hmm...Anyway back to my Saturday. SO we get into an arument, then guess what...all the sudden this fool starts falling asleep!! Im like what the FUCK! NIGGA WAKE UP! But he wont wake up...he is foamin at the mouth and shit. Then I start to panick like OH FUCK! Did I slip him some pills and forget or what?!! I shake him and he snaps awake like nothing had even happen, and goes back to talkin. I'm like what in the hell. Apparently he took some medication that makes him drowsy so pretty much this fool was falling asleep in public. And I kid you not it was the funniest shit I have ever seen in my life. We walk to the corner store and this fool falls asleep at the counter. We got to McDonalds and he falls asleep with a BigMac in his hand. We get to the house and he falls asleep leaning against the counter drinkin a milkshake. hahahaha Like just thinking about it makes me weak with laughter. We walk to the car and this nigga is steppin on imaginary curbs. lmfao like he literally put his knees all the way up in the air thinking he stepping on a curb. The shit is hilarious. Everytime he started dozin off I would yell in his face "MICHAEL WAKE UP!!!" hahahaha He would snap awake and mumble some nonsense. Which I could barely understand. Something bout cheese fries and a medicine cabinet or something. I have no clue. Anyway later that night I put him in bed and i'm laying on the couch watching t.v. next thing I know this fool done slept walked into the living room standing in front of me with a chocolate condom in his mouth. And tells me "lets go half on a baby" Im like nigga YOU SLEEP!!! how you gone make a baby in yo sleep!? lmao So he tries to open his eyes and Im like NO fool give it up take yo butt and get in the bed PLEASE! This shit is ridiculous. He wont listen to me...foaming at the mouth again YUCK! I finally say FUCK IT and pull him to the couch, start unbottoning his pants and next thing I know this nigga is snorin on top of me. Like cmon now dude! Get yo heavy ass up...and take yo chocolate condom with you. Can you believe it took me 10 minutes just to get this boy off me and back into the bed. What a damn shame. Im tellin you I havent laughed this damn hard in a long time. Like this shit was hilarious. Now Im pretty disappointed though, because I want to be doing more than just sitting around watching t.v. on a Saturday night so I crack open the three olives in the freezer and start takin shots. At first I said I was just gonna take 2 then 2 turned into about 7 lol by the time I realized I was drunk I had already devoured nearly the whole bottle. I realize I have to hide the bottle because that was a fresh bottle of vodka that i drank all to myself. And it really wasnt mines to drink in the first place. Oh well the dirt is done now. I stash the near-empty bottle in the bottom cupboard behind some cans of corn and stumble to the couch. And apparently passed out. Hey just like Friday lol. SO pretty much the rest of the week ima have to lay off the booze and green shit cause how useful am I when im not sober? EXACTLY! I been thinkin about goin to an AA class just for the fuck of it. I mean not like im really gonna quit drinkin all togther but i can afford to take a few days off. Come next Friday i'll be wasted again. Who am I foolin? Now the question is WHAT TO DO ON SUNDAY? hmm....fornication is not completly out the picture as long as this nigga can stay awake. hahaha
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